Mandy Evans, Better Together Animal Alliance
September 21, 2021
Suzi Langer, Advocate for Specially Abled Animals
September 28, 2021
The loss of a companion animal is devastating, whether you are prepared for the loss or it comes suddenly through disaster or accident. The bond that we share with the animals in our lives are similar to those shared with beloved family members. The grief experienced after such a loss can be debilitating. It takes a toll on our mental and physical health, as well as painfully disrupts our day-to-day routines—which used to include caring for our fuzzy companion.
When you lose a companion animal, there are several ways to navigate the grieving process and work towards healing.
Mark the loss
It is important to acknowledge the loss and express your sorrow. Depending on your belief structure, that might look like a meditation, a prayer, or a memorial. Ceremonies, whether public or private, offer a physical way to express grief and loss.
Acknowledge the joy that your animal friend brought into your life. Journaling or collecting photographs of your pet offers comfort and is a way to celebrate their life. Community Cats podcast guest Reagan Pasternak experienced the loss of her cat Griffin and, during her mourning process, created the book Griffin’s Heart: Mourning Your Pet with No Apologies. Reagan’s book is a memoir, a healing journal, a grief guide, and a keepsake for helping you work through mourning a pet and remember the wonderful things about your life together.
Marking a loss changes the landscape of your day-to-day life. To facilitate this, create a space in your home or yard to connect with the memory of your animal. Planting a tree or setting a stone marker in your animal’s favorite space is a tangible way to process grief. It offers you a safe place, away from your everyday life, to pause and remember your beloved animal.
Seek support
Pet loss is unique in that it doesn’t always garner the same support from friends and family that is often offered with other types of loss. The grief felt with pet loss is something that can come with feelings of shame or embarrassment when met with criticism from others. Typical support networks might not be available to acknowledge your grief and help you through it. If that is the case in your situation, there are other options for finding the support you need.
Connecting with others for emotional support is a core need for the grieving process. The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement offers an online video support group on the second and fourth Thursday of every month. The Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University offers a pet loss support hotline that is accessible by dialing 508-839-7966. The hotline operates from 6 to 9 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, and has a 24-hour voicemail. The Cummings School also maintains a list of internet support groups and chat rooms on their website.
Create a legacy
Foster volunteers who lose animals in their care often process the loss by using what they learned in that specific case to help future foster animals in similar circumstances. This gives a purpose to the life lost and creates a learning legacy that contributes to the well-being of future foster animals. Animals teach us so much during their time with us and using that knowledge to help more animals is a wonderful way to keep their memories alive.
Helping other animals is a strong legacy to leave. Many people find that making a donation to a local animal shelter or program is a positive action that can come from loss. Volunteering in honor of a lost pet offers the benefit of meeting other animal lovers and working with them to save more animal lives. Connecting with others who have grieved for a beloved animal makes navigating your emotions easier.
The loss of an animal is a painful process that is, unfortunately, part of the privilege of loving them. Marking your loss, connecting with a support network, and creating good in the world promotes healing and comfort during the mourning process. Grief is extremely personal, so be patient and kind to yourself as you move forward.
Based in Colorado, Emily Zaynard fills her community with computers, cats, and coffee. When she’s not getting social online, Emily volunteers doing local TNR and socializing kittens for adoption. She believes in stopping into art museums, historic homes, and cat cafes and hopes to travel again soon!
